I haven’t written because I’ve been moving from my apartment back out to my parents’house in Long Island. It’s a bit of a distance between both locations so much of my time has been occupied with driving and sitting in traffic.
I don’t know about anyone else in this world but when I’m driving I’m in la-la land. Some of my craziest, kookiest ideas happen during this time. That’s how I came up with this experiment.
I’m also very guilty of having conversations with myself as I drive.
I don’t know why.
Half the time I don’t even realize I’m doing it.
I tend to become aware that I am having a full on conversation with myself when I stop at red lights and notice the person in the car next to me.
All of a sudden I get real self conscious and will pretend I’m talking on my cell phone so the person in the car next to me doesn’t think I’m totally nuts.
But I do have a bit of the “Nut” factor in me.
I’m okay with that…it makes my life more interesting and at times very chaotic.
So I’m having a conversation with myself trying to really determine what I want to do in life.
I know I’m not okay with sitting in an office trading 40 + hours of my time, energy and life so that the boss can go on vacation every month while I struggle to stay above water.
I know I don’t want to go back to school again to find another career that bores the hell out of me.
So I asked myself,
“Self…..What do you want to do?”
and of course I answer myself…….
“I want to write.”
When I was in rehab two years ago I met a man by the name of “The Rev.”
He ran a few of the workshops in the rehab. I have been through so many different types of facilities and drug treatment programs and they all gave me the same information.
I had the information..it wasn’t enough.
I needed understanding.
I needed comprehension.
I needed it to be said in a way that it hadn’t been said before.
He was the man that did this….as he quotes,“The clarity of my words are inescapable…they pierce the heart of understanding.”
Now this was not any type of Reverend I ever met before….totally different.
The first time I met him he told us all…
“I don’t preach at the first church of the nicy nice.
This ain’t for the little old lady who sits in the first pew with hands folded, this is for addicts and alcoholics spoken in the language of the streets.”
He has quietly touched and saved so many lives with his words.He saved my life.
I lived a life of active addiction.
I know the ways of the streets.
I know how to manipulate the best of them.
I know how to be whoever I need to be in a moment to get what I want.
I know how to hide within myself…..so who I am can’t be revealed.
This is not the end of the story. There is more to this story. Please click here to continue on. Otherwise there is much to be missed.